Passing Gas

Ha! Guess what?? As of December 7th at 0940, I am officially a "gas passer"! In other (more mature) words...I am officially a CRNA - certified registered nurse anesthetist!! I have never been more stressed out in my entire life! I have spent the last month studying (I'll post my study plan for SRNAs later) and the last 27 months waiting for this one day.
These were my thoughts:
1) How would I ever face my friends and family if I failed?
2) How could I possibly stand another moment of studying?
3) I'm going to freak out!!

Our graduation was in November, but it didn't give me a sense of relief because you can't do anything as a CRNA until you pass your certification exam. It was definitely a sense of accomplishment though.

Getting my diploma

My parents gave me the Fisher Price doctor's kit that I always played with. It came with a note saying "Who would have thought when you got this kit as a gift from your grandparents, you'd make it a career!"

Finally, the big day came and it was time to take the certification exam! The entire week prior I had been a nervous wreck, had to force myself to eat, and barely could sleep. Thankfully, my test was first thing in the morning so I didn't have to stress about it all day. 
After going through the thorough check in process (2 IDs, picture taken, pocketes emptied, sleeves checked, palm scan taken, blood draw...kidding on the blood draw) I was able to start my exam. Half way through the exam I had to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths and refocus my brain. Then, at the end, an hour and 40 minutes later, my identification was checked again and I was given a piece of paper that would tell me if I passed. I honestly thought my heart couldn't be pounding any harder and that I might just pee my pants. I went around the corner and peeked under the paper and there was the best four-letter-word I had ever seen: PASS! Oh my goodness, I just started shaking all over, gathered my stuff and scooted out of there. I can't describe the relief I felt!I did I little ninja kick in the hall and ran to bathroom so I wouldn't pee my pants. Seriously, unbelievable day! 
That night we celebrated at our house with a yummy dinner with my parents, one of my sisters, and a fantastic bottle of wine. I also received some gorgeous roses from my grandparents. 

And that was my fabulous day!!I'm looking forward to the rest of my life as a CRNA!

Advice to an SRNA

Close to 30 months ago I found out I was pregnant. 
27 months ago I started school to become a nurse anesthetist. 
In that 3 month period of being pregnant and preparing to start school I scoured the internet for any kind of advice about going through anesthesia school pregnant/with a newborn and I could only find a couple of chats. I asked my school if there was anyone I could talk to that had gone through this before, but they had no names to give me (it's been done many times before, but they had no contact info). I talked to students in the class ahead of me and they encouraged me, but had no real advice for a new mother. 
SO, if there is any one out there in the same predicament and scouring the internet for advice on what you should do if you are going to have a baby in anesthesia school - here it is!

I can only speak for my program, so obviously it could be different elsewhere. I've already given this spiel to a few other people who have asked me and they appreciated the straight forward, no sugar coating truth.

1) It's doable. Not ideal, but doable. And it's worth it! My best advice and what I told every one who asked me if I was crazy for trying to juggle a new marriage, new baby, and anesthesia school is "I take it one day at a time". Of course, you need to plan ahead so you can study and what not, but if you look to far ahead it gets overwhelming. Just focus on getting through one test, one more doctors appointment, one more feeding, one more paper. It's much less daunting that way!

2) I would never have gotten through it without the help and support of my family and in-laws. I didn't want to have to put ButterBean in daycare when he was so little (I went back to class when he was a week old) and through the help of ButterBean's grandmas I was able to keep him out of daycare the entire time. 

3) You will be tired, so tired! If you didn't drink coffee already, you will. Oh yes will
If you want to be extra tired you can do what I did and work your regular ICU nursing job every weekend for the first 5 months of school while pregnant because you need your health insurance! I can look back now and say "What on earth was I thinking?" But, you gotta do what you gotta do!

4) You will have intense mommy guilt. Add in fun postpartum hormones and you have a recipe for an emotional merry-go-round! When you are studying, you feel guilty you aren't with your baby. When you spend time with your sweet bundle, you have the massive pile of books and future test looming in the back of your mind. 

5) If possible, find someone else in your class who has kids. You are going to to need someone to talk to who can relate to your situation. Other students (without kids or spouses) in your class will complain to you about how they just don't have time for this or that, or can't get time to study and you are going to want to jump across the table and smack them repeatedly saying "YOU don't have time? YOU are tired?!! Do you realize who you are talking to? A sleep deprived, emotionally racked, hasn't even been able to shower in three days, just spent her lunch break pumping breast milk crazy woman!" Usually, as soon as the words come out of their mouths, you can see they know exactly what they just said and they back-pedal with "But it's nothing compared to what you are dealing with"
Anyway, the point of that was to say, only other mothers with kids will understand the stresses you are going through. Your significant other and family won't understand anesthesia school (unless the are an anesthetist themself) and other students won't understand parenting. I have my study-buddy and we vent to each other all the time. It's quite therapeutic really!

6) Your husband MUST be 100% on board with this decision because he is going to be picking up slack. He is going to be dropping of baby with the grandparents or at day care because you are going to be getting up at 4:30 to be in the OR by 6am. He is going to have to watch baby while you hole yourself away with authors like Nagelhout, Miller, and Barrash. He is going to have to listen to you whine complain talk about your crazy day in the OR, hard test, or annoying coordinator. If he isn't supportive of you being in school, I guarantee it's going to fall apart. I've been told story after story of couples getting divorced during anesthesia school. Both of you have to be in on this together!

7) As far as taking time off - that will depend on what your school allows. Mine gave us 30ish days off to use how we wanted within the 27 months. We could work holidays to get extra days off later. Like I said earlier, I went back to class when he was a week old, but I didn't go back to clinicals until he was 5 weeks old. My body would not have tolerated going back any earlier. In all I only used 17 days of my vacation days for a "maternity leave". With the next kid, maternity leave is seriously going to feel like a vacation compared to this!

OK this is long enough. If I think of more I'll make another post. And truly, just contact me if you have any questions. I'd love to be of help.

I will post later about the study material I bought to help me with the SEE exam and to study for boards. I'll post that AFTER I pass, though.

Mother's Day

I had a marvelous Mother's Day! My own little bundle can't do much for his mama yet, but I know one day he is going to bring me home a droopy marigold that he planted himself in a little pot at school and I'm going to gush over it like is was the finest rose! This Mother's Day was more about my own mom! It happened to be her birthday this Mother's Day. She has done a superb job raising me and my sisters and I will always look up to her!

Soooo, I made her a birthday cake of course: Martha Stewart's Lemon Cake! It's so rich, it's almost like a pound cake. It calls for lemon zest, so I definitely used organic lemons for this cake. I've made it a couple of other times and it always turns our delicious. (This is actually a picture from another time that I made it.)

And I made all of us a nice little brunchy breakfast. My favorite were the rhubarb scones that I made with rhubarb from my mom's backyard. Yummm. 

I have more rhubarb in my fridge and I plan to make these again! I recommend them good with a cup of tea, like all good baked goods should be enjoyed!

We also went over to celebrate Gatsby's mother and got to relax some more in the sun! Perfect weather for the cousins to romp in the backyard! ButterBean had a "hair-raising" experience: learning to drive! We all got a good laugh at his static style!

The pictures don't do justice to the amount of hair that was sticking up!

he was very frustrated that he couldn't stand in the car

ButterBean had a very in depth conversation with his godfather. It sounded pretty serious!

Mother's day was a perfect example of balancing school and family. I had a big test on Monday, but there was no way I was missing this amazing family time. I was able to completely forget about the test for a few hours and enjoy good food, good weather, and good company! I got in a couple hours of studying between celebrations while ButterBean and Gatsby napped. For anyone considering anesthesia school, believe me, you're world will be utterly consumed with studying! Take a break sometimes and forget about it! You don't (and you won't) ace every test! And that's ok! Happy Mother's Day to all the overly busy mom's out there!

Away from home for a night

One of the more difficult parts of anesthesia school is the call shifts. A call shift is either 16 or 24 hours and it can either be a complete snoozer or up all night exhausted. When the shifts are quiet it's great for studying because it's too hard to study at home!

Tonight I am on a 16 hour call shift and hoping for a little shut eye - so far it's been a good shift.

But, then I miss my little guy!

Kind of looks like he has a toupee - time for another hair cut

I don't think I can prove it, but I'm pretty sure that this might be the cutest child ever (especially when he is in his owl shirt! Why are owls so cute? I don't know, they just are!)!!! Every day I just can't believe how stinkin' cute he gets.

Newest accomplishment: The Army Crawl

Back to the Grind

It was a nice run...but like all good things, it had to come to an end! I had a month or so with hardly any classes and mostly clinical time. It was great because I could come home and not feel pressured to study, write a paper, or put together a presentation. No longer! I'm now going back to all free moments being dedicated to my old friends Nagelhout, Stoelting, Barrash, and Miller (all riveting authors of anesthesia textbooks!). 15 more months. Hmmm, I shouldn't have said that- it's depressing really.

Here is another depressing story. Depressing for my taste buds, but otherwise rather funny. I wrote earlier how I was waiting for my sad little tomato plant to grow an actual deliscious tomato. Well, it accomplished growing tomatoes, but failed to make them delicious. I now have a counter full a beautiful green tomatoes!

Just some of my tomato collection

I made some green tomato bread with a few of them and I'm letting some of them ripen. I've considered fried green tomatoes or salsa, but haven't gotten around to it. Tomato growing: FAIL!

This break has given me quality time with a certain squirmy SEVEN month old! He's seven months already! He's pretty goofy. I've tried to catch some pictures and video of him acting silly (shaking his head violently, buzzing his lips, sucking in his lips so he looks like an old man) but I never catch it. My camera has an orange light that glows before a picture is taken so I end up with pictures like this:

In ButterBean's defense - he did have a runny nose and wasn't in the mood for a photoshoot. The day after, he was feeling a little better and I got some good photos.

Classic: he is always twisting around and wants to see whatever is behind him

What's that? Oh, just some old anesthesia textbook calling my name.

Me!

My first name means "Little Womanly One" and my last name means "Little Happy One". For the most part my name sums me up! I'm petite, girly, and for the most part happy!
My life? Craziness.
In one year I got married, started anesthesia school, finished a basement and bathroom, redecorated 4 rooms, and had a baby! It all has gone by so fast that I think if I don't start documenting some things, I will forget what I've done! School is 27 months straight through, 40 hours a week of class and clinical, and an intense amounts of studying. While I was pregnant my grades were great. After baby? Not so much. But graduating with B's is still graduating! Considering this is how I study:

I'd say it's just fine.

My baby, aka ButterBean is the cutest baby I've ever seen. It's not like I'm biased or anything!




He's four and a half months now and one of the main reasons I consider myself to be a "little happy one". I have so many reasons to be happy: family close by, good health, great husband, a house. I'm very busy/stressed, but also very blessed.